TRANSCRIPT:
JOHN SWEENEY: Here I am on expenses in a boozer.
Champagne and a double gin. And then we’re going to have some red wine but we’ll panic about that at the appropriate moment.
I think we should have one more bottle of wine.
Fuck it. No expense spared.
Two brandies, two limoncellos.
This is crème de cassis.
Kir Royale. Black currant liqueur and champagne.
Have you got any Flaming Sambuca?
And then two Kir Royales. And then the bill.
I think we’ve got to do a runner.
GUEST: I need to do a cab too.
JOHN SWEENEY: I’ve prebooked because the dog makes it more difficult. You know why, don’t you? Asian cab drivers don’t like taking dogs. It’s kind of embarrassing.
GUEST: How dare you? Where’s my phone? Say that on camera. Racist.
JOHN SWEENEY: It’s, uhm, teşekkür ederim, which is “thank you” in Turkish. If you want to piss off a Greek you start speaking Turkish. And they know and they don’t….Anyway, never mind. They don’t like it.
GUEST: I remember one line in particular. She said, “What do you think about LGBT?” or something. And I said, “Well, some of the stuff that gay people say is just ridiculous.”
JOHN SWEENEY: They’re ridiculous that they should be shot?
GUEST: Exactly. No, obviously.
JOHN SWEENEY: I know. But did you say it?
GUEST: No.
JOHN SWEENEY: Good, good.
GUEST: Because unbeknownst to…
JOHN SWEENEY: I would say that, by the way.
GUEST: That they should be shot?!
JOHN SWEENEY: Is he gay? My gaydar is rubbish. He’s a bloody woofter, is he?
JOHN SWEENEY: That’s a bit weird. I’m not like Joe [gay].
